Yep, catch it if u can, u need to get over this, so catch and put it away, take it to the bottom of ur experiencebox/mind in ur head, cover it with all the blankets u have, make it go away, vanish, disappear…but….like the picture above u see no people left, only their footsteps in the sand, like it is, the print will stay for ever, till u sweep the sand, or water it and thats exactly what u have to do, sweep ur brains, water u mind, to give it more chances, changes, till u feel u will be able to handle or deal with ur feelings and thaugths.
How do u do that, some memories keep coming back, they look around the corner all the time and as soon u are a bit down, or someone reminds u in what way so ever, the memoire jumps at u, from its corner and enjoys the stay in the front of ur experiencebox/mind, it haunts u and make u get no sleep at all, even when its old and was crumbled to practically nothing….. it blows itself up, it comes loud and clear, u smell, hear and sometimes even see the experience like it happened yesterday….. people are able to hurt u in a horrible way, just for fun, or they are addicted or the want the power even when they have to make u feel very bad, some of them even like it that way.
How and why, i will never know, but getting hurt by people is the worst what can happen, so much worse if the occurring of feeling bad would exist just by accident, or wrong judgement, childish mistake. So why, does the person have no conscience, no limits or has he/she been hurt too and cannot handle that and just wants to do this to others, instead having to deal with him/herself?
Well i think i should feel good that i don’t know why people do this to each other, in stead holding back and i know for sure half of the harm and pain would be prevented if u are being raised the right way, ur surroundings shows u limits when u are a child and bad behavior, guilt will be punished, so one learns.
Whatever ur experiences are, don’t get over it, don’t put it way, try to revive it, slowly, with all ur brains, tell urself u are ok and not the victim, the victim is the one who is going beyond and over the human limit, i know it sounds easy and seems foolish, but if u try it each day piece by piece, u get stronger and the responsible feelings about it will first walk aside u, untill u know u are not responsible and actually the hurter/the bad person will seem and later on be the poor one, just take ur time, tell urself u are right, ok and far more than the stupid guy/girl who is trying to bring u down, now u turn the role and in the end u are above it all, how long that make take, in the end u will, if u want to know some more about how to gain balance or see the real purpose of life, visit this website, maybe it will bring u some knowledge, or warmth:) and spiritual guidance.
To many people kill themselves, commit suicide, jump in front of a train, while in the end mostly u are able to get out of it, self-confidence is needed here and if possible someone aside u who understands, who shows u love, love, words will ever be the same, understanding and love will make u see, will maybe help u out, give it a try, get professional help, dont be ashamed, angry or demonstated, help urself in coming back to the life u had, the life where u felt good, made u move forward and want to be part of. Dont give it away and dont despair, it will not last forever, and sorry this sounds cruel, but after all its also in between ur ears, in ur mind, see that and the healing begins, u put the one who is making u crazy out of ur head, lame him/her and make it smaller so u will be able to deal with it, after all, u are worth it, dead is easy, life is not, but if u kill urself u will never know how fantastic it can be, what would happen to u and all the ones who love u will not have to grieve..
www.marsk4angel.nl it will be in the same bad english as this blog, but anyhow u will understand:)